Salty, Sweet, 'Tasty' Treat
by deadtodd
Summary: "Bro, you were eating Play-Doh. That's... Bro... That can't be healthy." -Warning: May cause excessive giggling. Not Slash.


Wally flung his backpack to he ground as soon as he entered the front door and took off towards his bedroom. It was nice, having super speed. He was upstairs and in his room in a blink of an eye and had already whipped out his favorite evening treat. His Play-Doh kit. Oh, the things he would build. Towers, castles, people, and even his teammates. People honestly didn't know how entertaining it was. Or they thought they were too 'mature' to play with the modeling clay.

He grinned as he reconstructed little Suzie from across the street. Sweet little Suzie. According to her mother teenager would be happy to babysit the blue eyed, blonde angel. He hated that girl. And some day he'd expose her for the evil demon she was. Until then he'd settle for this.

Slobbering all over her little doughy head. He moaned as he stuffed his mouth full of her little dough body. Blue and green. They really made the best combination. He pulled the bits of yellow clay he used to model her hair out of his mouth. That color tasted like goblin piss or Superboy's socks or something.

This really was the best revenge ever. Especially since his mom forgot to make him an after school snack. Well, an after baby sitting snack since he went straight to little Suzie's house after final period. His tummy rumbled, as if on queue, he rubbed it as he forced down the large lump of salty dough.

He was tempted to whip out the Easy Bake Oven that was in his closet but his mother had banned him from using it a few years ago after he set half of his bed on fire. He rolled a little ball of blue for another Suzie head and began to add bits of red for the lips and eyes. Because everyone knew little demon girls had ruby red lips and glistening red eyes. It's a shame. Red tasted the best but it symbolized such evil - well other than The Flash and himself.

As he continued making Suzie the demon child's chubby little body, his mind caught another idea. He reached over and grabbed that green modeling clay and began to kneed and form it. He sculpted it forcefully and shoved a chuck of yellow dough onto it with so much power that he upset her head. He quickly rolled it back into it's annoying shape and placed it back on the squishy body. He made one of the more evil girls in his life - Artemis. She would taste the worst, all that yellow flooded with green - those colors just did not taste good together - it was almost as evil as red.

The gears in his head began to turn on the subject of people that made his life just plain suck sometimes. Then it sparked in his mind, a one thing that people were dumb enough to actually believe in. It was enough to actually make him angry. Magic. And there was no magic worse than the magic that existed in the world of Harry Potter. That stupid block head and his stupid glasses wearing face.

He grabbed the black and red Play-Doh and began to sculpt once again. A cylindrical black body with a red dot, a round misshapen head with black spikes, a red line on the forehead, and a black stick at the side. A 'magic' wand. Idiots.

Oh! Those dark robes. Honestly, it was like some sort of follow the leader thing in his brain because before he knew it he was making a priest. Not that he had something against them personally... He just didn't trust those guys. They were all "Confess everything bad you've ever done! I promise I won't tell.." And all "Let me hold you close so I can comfort and pray for you" and stuff like that. He frowned as he stared at the headless body before shuddering at the implication of that thought.

See! Even when he thought about them they were creepy. He added a head and some brown hair, which was really just a lot of blue, green, and yellow dough mixed together. Play-Doh really needed to team up with Crayola and invest in colors or something.

He 'hmmned' softly and tapped his chin. Who else to add - Superboy! He 'ahemed' and began constructing a black and blue body. He didn't really have anything against Supey either. It's just that he was mackin' on his woman and Wally did not appreciate that. It didn't matter that he was good with the ladies, bros didn't do that to bros. It was bros before hot Martians for Einstein sake!

Although... Supey would just have to understand that he'd, Wally, have to break bro code and put Megan first. Nothing personal. Just that Megan was his girl even if she wasn't quite aware of it just yet. He finished Superboy and marveled at his work. The Play-Doh version of the Boy of Steel wasn't as muscular but they shared one thing in common. A blank expression.

He popped a glop of red dough into his mouth while he thought about anyone else he could possibly add to the group. Hmm.

"Hey Wally, whacha doin'?"

Wally found it was very hard to yelp and swallow Play-Doh at the same time. Instead he wound up choking on the half dissolved lump. He coughed and held his stomach as he felt Robin smack him on the back. More like punch. The wad of dough flew out of his mouth, across the room, and stuck to his Periodic Table poster on his wall. Right on the silicone square.

Dick frowned and raised an eyebrow in confusion. It wasn't hard to figure out just what Wally was doing. In fact, Dick was pretty sure he already knew. Correction. He was absolutely certain. That didn't stop him from saying, "Huh?" Nor did it stop the awkward silence that followed.

"It's not... Uh, bro this isn't. I mean, I was just... making play toys for my neighbor..." Wally stammered.

Dick shook his head, "Wally, that still doesn't explain why you were choking on it."

Wally rubbed the back of his neck in nervousness, "I uh, had some in my hand, and was looking at it, and walking... then I tripped, and uh swallowed it...?" Wally wanted to smack himself on the forehead.

Dick shifted from one foot to the other as he blinked slowly. "Right... How did it get inside of your mouth?"

"Uhhh, I tripped on it? Yeah, and then it got in there!" So weak.

"But you were chewing it... Oh, whatever. Bro, you were _eating_Play-Doh." Dick's upper lipped twitched and stretched upwards in a slightly disgusted expression. "That's... Bro... That can't be healthy."

"Shut up, dude. You don't even know," Wally whined, flailing his hands as he spoke. As if it would somehow make Dick understand.

Dick frowned at his freckled friend. "I don't know what?"

Wally huffed angrily, a sour expression on his face. "You just don't bro, so until you do, shut up. You just... Ugh, it tastes _good _okay!"

"_No_. It doesn't."

"Yes, it does. You don't know. You didn't eat it."

"I don't have to eat it to know. Stop saying that."

"It's not like it's not true! You don't know. Just taste it bro, just-"

"_No_," Dick said firmly, cutting off any attempt Wally could possibly make at persuading him otherwise.

"Dude you-"

"Hell no, that's gross."

Wally huffed again and tackled the dark haired boy to the ground. "Eat it!" he cried, pushing a wad of blue dough at Dick's face. Dick twisted his head away from it and squirmed in an attempt to free himself.

"Dude, that's gross. I'm not gonna-" Dick gagged as Wally forced the Play-Doh into his mouth, covering it so that he couldn't spit it back out.

"You don't even have to swallow it dude. It just melts in your mouth and-" Wally yelped when Dick bit down on his hand. Hard. "OW!" Wally shouted in pain as he yanked his hand away from Dick's mouth.

Dick used the distraction to his advantage and forcefully rolled onto his side, causing Wally to tumble off of him and onto the floor. Dick coughed strongly, holding two fingers to the crook in his throat and hunched over, sitting on his knees.

Wally groaned and sat up, his eyes recovering from his sudden whiplash. "Man... That hurt!" Wally said rubbing the back of his head.

Dick turned his head to the side to glare at Wally, still coughing as he tried to get the chuck of Play-Doh out that lodged itself in his throat.

Wally grinned, "Ya'know," he said, sitting up a little straighter as Dick gave another cough, "It would be a lot easier if you just swallowed it. It's not bad at-"

The slobbery covered chunk of half dissolved blue clay finally freed itself from Dick's throat and with one last cough it flew out of the boys mouth and stuck itself right under Wally's eye, shutting him up. They both went silent except for the sound of Dick's heavy breathing. Wally slowly held up his hand and touched the saliva covered treat that was sticking to his cheek. He felt it, pulled it off his face, and stared at it as it rested in his hand.

"And the sad thing is," Wally said after a very long pause as he lightly tossed it at Dick's head, "I'm still hungry for that."

Dick cringed away clay, "That is sick," Dick gave his friend a disgusted look as he pushed himself up and onto his feet, "Real sick Wally. I'm outta here."

"Aww, c'mon!" Wally said getting to his feet too, "You know you liked it!"

"N-no I didn't," Dick dismissed as he shuffled to the door.

Wally laughed and went to block his friend's path, "Then why are you blushing?"

Dick look flustered, and he glanced around the room, a smirk spreading across his face, "Why do you have a little clay figure of Artemis?"

Now it was Wally's turn to blush. He rolled his eyes and coughed lightly. "Look, that's not even... It's not..." He narrowed his eyes and pointed at Dick. "You liked it bro. Don't even change the subject!"

"You're the one changing the subject!"

"You changed it first!" The redhead shouted, shaking his fist.

"Dude. That's so not cool. Just, keep making figures of your girlfriends or whatever and eating them. I'm out."

"She's not my girlfriend! Wait... No! _They're_not my girlfriends! I just... hate them is all," Wally said, glaring down at the mostly smashed dough-dolls.

"You hate Superboy?" Dick asked, nodding slowly as he spoke in obvious disbelief.

"Not really hate. More like... Dude, bros before hoes!"

"And you hate a seven year old kid?"

Wally growled and picked up the closest dough-doll, squashing it."She's Satan I swear."

Dick exhaled loudly through his nose, arching an eyebrow. "And Harry Potter?"

"You weren't there with Doctor Fate. Seriously man, magic sucks."

"And what is that other thing even _supposed_to be?"

Wally shrugged. "A priest?"

"Dude-"

"They're creepy! Always touchin' and huggin' and I swear one pinched my butt! Not that anyone believed me," Wally said with an exaggerated snort. He rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest.

"Sure..." Dick said, "You have issues bro. Seriously. Tch." Dick walked over to the window and leaned down so that he could pass through it easily. "As if anyone could hate Harry Potter." The Boy Wonder shook his head in disbelief and climbed out of the window, probably leaping off into some randomly appearing alley so that he could take to the skies.

Wally frowned as he heard the sound of a car door slamming.

Or maybe someone was picking him up. He sighed and glanced around his room warily before popping a little Play-Doh arm into his mouth.

**Grimmy:** _So tired I can't even think. Awesome collab, yusyusyusyus. Hope you all enjoyed and, LOL GOBLIN PISS FOREVER._

**MNM: **_Two words. Goblin Piss. x3 YEEEEES! Oh wait that's five words and an emoticon. Not including that last thing. Or that. Or that and this._


End file.
